Why Who You Are Is More Important Than What You Do

Speaker: 00:00:00

Welcome to Equipped for Purpose. I'm your host, Vincent Ream, and this is the podcast

Speaker: 00:00:11

where discipleship meets impactful leadership. Whether you're new to faith or a seasoned

Speaker: 00:00:16

follower of Christ, this podcast is designed to help you deepen your relationship with

Speaker: 00:00:21

Jesus, grow as a leader, and make a difference in every area of your life. Together we'll

Speaker: 00:00:26

explore practical tools, biblical insights, and real-life strategies to equip you for

Speaker: 00:00:32

the purpose God has called you to. Let's dive in.

Speaker: 00:00:46

Welcome back to Equipped for Purpose. Have you ever felt like your leadership was just a set of

Speaker: 00:00:54

tasks to manage? Or perhaps you've wondered how your unique gifts and personality truly

Speaker: 00:01:02

fit into your leadership role? What if impactful leadership begins not just with what you do,

Speaker: 00:01:11

but profoundly with who you are? Today we're unpacking what makes your leadership distinct

Speaker: 00:01:18

and how that shapes your calling as a follower of Jesus.

Speaker: 00:01:23

The mission of Equipped for Purpose is clear and I think compelling. Equipped for Purpose exists to

Speaker: 00:01:30

equip, develop, and empower followers of Jesus Christ to integrate deep discipleship

Speaker: 00:01:36

with impactful leadership in every area of life. I firmly believe these are not separate paths,

Speaker: 00:01:43

but rather two sides of the same high calling. For a while now I've been getting into a specific

Speaker: 00:01:50

leadership development program that I created. This program is intentionally designed to help

Speaker: 00:01:56

you establish strong foundations for your leadership journey. Over a few episodes we've

Speaker: 00:02:02

been exploring the very first pillar of this program. It's truly a foundational area that I

Speaker: 00:02:09

call discovering distinctiveness. Today we're going to zoom out just a bit and summarize

Speaker: 00:02:16

what this absolutely crucial pillar is all about covering the four sections we've explored in

Speaker: 00:02:24

detail. Leader identity, mindset, communication, and conflict resolution. By the end of this

Speaker: 00:02:32

episode I hope that you'll have a clearer picture of what makes your leadership unique

Speaker: 00:02:38

and gain practical insights to step more fully into the leader God has specifically called you

Speaker: 00:02:45

to be. First a quick overview of the program structure itself. This leadership development

Speaker: 00:02:52

program is designed to cover 21 distinct areas. I know that sounds like a lot, but I have broken

Speaker: 00:03:00

them into manageable and actionable chunks. Starting in 2025 I've been rotating weekly

Speaker: 00:03:09

between topics on discipleship and leadership, which means roughly half of our episodes have

Speaker: 00:03:16

focused specifically on these leadership areas. The program itself is broken into two main parts.

Speaker: 00:03:23

Part one covering the first half of those topics focuses primarily on you, the leader, improving

Speaker: 00:03:30

yourself. From there it moves to improving the individuals you lead, and then finally forming

Speaker: 00:03:36

those people into a team. The aim here in part one is to help you develop confidence in your

Speaker: 00:03:44

leadership, equip you with the ability to create future leaders and build cohesive teams, and

Speaker: 00:03:51

empower you by helping you establish strong foundations for success. Think of part one as

Speaker: 00:03:56

more boots on the ground or tactical leadership. Part two, the second half of those 21 topics,

Speaker: 00:04:06

shifts to a larger vantage point of leadership. While part one is tactical, part two is about

Speaker: 00:04:13

stepping back to be able to lead in the capacity of understanding what it means to make strategic

Speaker: 00:04:19

decisions. These are the choices that look at vision and how you lead a team to seeing that

Speaker: 00:04:25

vision become a reality. As I mentioned, discovering distinctiveness is the very first

Speaker: 00:04:32

pillar of part one. It is the starting point, truly laying the essential groundwork for all

Speaker: 00:04:39

the subsequent areas we'll explore in this program. What does this foundation look like?

Speaker: 00:04:48

What exactly is discovering distinctiveness? While it's hard, it's about recognizing and

Speaker: 00:04:54

understanding your natural abilities, those things you are genuinely gifted with. But more

Speaker: 00:05:01

importantly, it's about understanding how this giftedness is a significant asset in your

Speaker: 00:05:08

leadership. Let's be real. A significant hurdle we often face in this process is criticality of

Speaker: 00:05:16

self. We often have this tendency to shy away from those things that make us

Speaker: 00:05:22

stand out as leaders. And when we shy away, when we don't bring our full selves to the table,

Speaker: 00:05:31

everyone around us misses out. And that's unfortunate to see.

Speaker: 00:05:35

As I shared in episode 83, I've personally held back before when I should have led fully,

Speaker: 00:05:42

and it taught me how much others lose when we don't step up.

Speaker: 00:05:46

A critical piece of this pillar is understanding that we have to embrace imperfection. We aren't

Speaker: 00:05:55

always going to make great and timely decisions. We won't always say the right thing or take the

Speaker: 00:06:03

perfect action. A key component we discussed is embracing what I call failing forward.

Speaker: 00:06:10

This means taking action, even imperfect action, and learning valuable lessons from the results,

Speaker: 00:06:17

regardless of what the result is. Waiting for perfection simply isn't an option.

Speaker: 00:06:24

As Winston Churchill is credited with saying, and Voltaire is also quoted as saying,

Speaker: 00:06:31

perfection is the enemy of progress, or the perfect is the enemy of the good.

Speaker: 00:06:36

In failure, leaders learn valuable lessons and continue to move forward. Ultimately,

Speaker: 00:06:44

the goal of discovering distinctiveness is about reaching a point where you show up in

Speaker: 00:06:48

the fullness of who you are and what you bring to the table as a leader. It's about

Speaker: 00:06:55

aiming to sharpen who you already are because the specific areas we'll cover are ones required

Speaker: 00:07:03

of all leaders, but could often use some development.

Speaker: 00:07:08

This foundational pillar breaks down into four specific points of emphasis that we've covered,

Speaker: 00:07:13

leader identity, mindset, communication, and conflict resolution.

Speaker: 00:07:20

Let's look at these and answer, how do they shape who you are as a leader?

Speaker: 00:07:26

Let's take a moment to recap the core ideas from each of these foundational areas of

Speaker: 00:07:31

discovering distinctiveness. First, we looked at leader identity. This is fundamentally about

Speaker: 00:07:39

who you are at your core as a person and a leader. The emphasis is that leader identity serves as

Speaker: 00:07:46

the foundation for effective, consistent, and authentic leadership. Your identity impacts

Speaker: 00:07:53

every decision you make and every interaction you have. Why is this so crucial? Understanding

Speaker: 00:08:00

your identity provides clarity and direction, acting as a compass, guiding decisions and

Speaker: 00:08:08

actions, especially in complex situations. It builds credibility and trust because

Speaker: 00:08:16

authenticity is a hallmark of great leadership. When you act in alignment with your identity,

Speaker: 00:08:24

you inspire trust and respect. It also empowers purposeful leadership.

Speaker: 00:08:32

Leadership isn't just about tasks but influence. For disciples, understanding identity in Christ

Speaker: 00:08:39

adds a layer of purpose rooted in eternal significance, aligning leadership with God's

Speaker: 00:08:46

mission. A strong identity also boosts resilience, guides interactions, and sparks creativity,

Speaker: 00:08:55

all key for leading well. We explored some key concepts and hindrances to understanding leader

Speaker: 00:09:02

identity. These included perfectionism. That was described as striving for flawlessness and setting

Speaker: 00:09:10

excessively high standards, which keeps you stuck and prevents action. We also discussed imposter

Speaker: 00:09:18

syndrome, that psychological pattern where individuals doubt their accomplishments and

Speaker: 00:09:24

fear being exposed as a fraud, which can paralyze them from showing up in fullness.

Speaker: 00:09:31

We also looked at the sources of your identity, highlighting faith as the first and best place

Speaker: 00:09:38

to go, understanding who God has called you to be. Personal values or internal convictions

Speaker: 00:09:48

are another source, representing the set of values you hold for yourself.

Speaker: 00:09:54

And I evaluated external influences such as family, friends, culture, or societal norms, which are

Speaker: 00:10:03

constantly attempting to exert control over your identity.

Speaker: 00:10:07

I stressed the significance of alignment, aligning with your higher purpose rooted in

Speaker: 00:10:12

scripture and prayer, and your core principles or values. This alignment comes from understanding

Speaker: 00:10:21

who God says you are. I also clearly distinguished between the roles you fill in life like husband,

Speaker: 00:10:28

father, or your profession and your core identity. Roles are temporary. Your identity is what you

Speaker: 00:10:36

carry into those roles. I define identity through four components, character, integrity, vision,

Speaker: 00:10:45

and mission. So actionably, it's crucial to evaluate the influences shaping your identity.

Speaker: 00:10:55

Have prayerful conversations with the Holy Spirit to find alignment with God's definition of who you

Speaker: 00:11:00

are. Understand how your character, integrity, vision, and mission shape your actions, behaviors,

Speaker: 00:11:08

and choices. And remember, don't let roles define you. Carry your defined identity into your roles.

Speaker: 00:11:18

The second aspect we explored is mindset. A leadership mindset is defined as a set of

Speaker: 00:11:24

attitudes, beliefs, and assumptions that guide how a leader perceives, interprets, and responds to

Speaker: 00:11:32

situations. It's truly the lens through which you view the world. Your mindset is crucial because it

Speaker: 00:11:42

drives your actions and sets the tone and culture for your team.

Speaker: 00:11:48

As a leader, people are looking to you for direction and response, making your mindset

Speaker: 00:11:55

consequential. Self-awareness is highlighted as the essential first step to growth in this area.

Speaker: 00:12:05

I discussed negative mindsets like imposter syndrome,

Speaker: 00:12:10

again, that feeling like a fraud and fearing exposure, which keeps you in hiding and prevents

Speaker: 00:12:16

leading. We also looked at the victim mindset, seeing yourself as helpless and unable to move

Speaker: 00:12:23

forward, which can cause your team to stop looking to you for solutions. These mindsets,

Speaker: 00:12:31

they don't just hold you back. They ripple out and affect everyone you lead. I also explored

Speaker: 00:12:37

overcoming these negative mindsets through strengthening your emotional intelligence,

Speaker: 00:12:42

which is the ability to recognize and manage emotions in yourself and others.

Speaker: 00:12:48

This fosters self-compassion and reduces anxiety. Another key concept is resilience,

Speaker: 00:12:55

the ability to recover from adversity and maintain a positive outlook,

Speaker: 00:13:00

which counters the victim mindset. I also crucially highlighted positive mindsets,

Speaker: 00:13:07

the growth mindset, which embraces challenges, values feedback, and sees failure as a learning

Speaker: 00:13:13

tool. The belonging mindset, which is the confidence that you deserve your leadership role and counters

Speaker: 00:13:20

imposter syndrome, and the abundance mindset, the belief that there is enough success and knowledge

Speaker: 00:13:27

and praise to share, countering scarcity thinking. Actionably, you can build self-awareness by

Speaker: 00:13:35

reflecting on your actions to challenges and feedback and by seeking input from trusted

Speaker: 00:13:42

mentors and colleagues. Strengthen your emotional intelligence by practicing active listening and

Speaker: 00:13:49

pausing to reflect before reacting to obstacles or setbacks. Build resilience by reframing setbacks

Speaker: 00:14:00

as learning opportunities, which is the concept of failing forward and by practicing some self-care.

Speaker: 00:14:08

Most importantly, actively cultivate those positive mindsets, seek feedback, embrace challenges,

Speaker: 00:14:16

practice gratitude daily, quantify the value you bring, say by noting how your engagement lifted

Speaker: 00:14:27

a team member last week and visualize success with a definition of what success looks like

Speaker: 00:14:34

and reframes your negative thoughts. Remember, you can choose your mindset.

Speaker: 00:14:39

Next up, communication. While often seen simply as a skill, I try to make a powerful point.

Speaker: 00:14:49

Leadership is communication. It's defined as the purposeful exchange of meaning through

Speaker: 00:14:55

everything you say and do. This includes listening to, inform, inspire, build trust, and align others

Speaker: 00:15:06

towards shared goals. This captures the breadth of leadership communication, including verbal,

Speaker: 00:15:15

non-verbal, and written messages. It emphasizes that as a leader, you are always communicating,

Speaker: 00:15:23

intentionally or not. It's about conveying information and understanding, including the

Speaker: 00:15:31

emotions and intentions behind it. It's a two-way conversational process that requires

Speaker: 00:15:39

active listening, and it's aimed at influencing others to achieve shared objectives.

Speaker: 00:15:48

Why is this crucial? Communication is the heartbeat of how leaders connect, inspire, and lead. It

Speaker: 00:15:57

builds trust, clarifies vision, and drives change. For Christian leaders, it's a way to reflect

Speaker: 00:16:09

Christ and unite teams around a godly purpose. Clear and effective communication is described

Speaker: 00:16:16

as a must-have skill. Great communication starts with the leader's heart and purpose.

Speaker: 00:16:23

It requires authenticity. As Ephesians 4.25 says, Therefore, having put away falsehood,

Speaker: 00:16:30

let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

Speaker: 00:16:38

This means balancing speaking truth with grace. In this episode, I also explored five essential

Speaker: 00:16:44

skills—clarity and confidence, empathy, active listening, adapting your style, and welcoming

Speaker: 00:16:53

feedback. I also mentioned that tone matters, especially in oral communication compared to

Speaker: 00:16:59

written. Citing Proverbs 15.1, a soft answer turns away wrath. Ensuring your message is truly

Speaker: 00:17:08

understood involves tactics like restating key points, asking for feedback, and having others

Speaker: 00:17:16

backbrief what they heard to confirm alignment. Effective communication has significant benefits,

Speaker: 00:17:22

while poor communication carries high costs. Be mindful that everything you say and do communicates

Speaker: 00:17:31

something. Actively develop the core communication skills, focusing on clarity, empathy,

Speaker: 00:17:39

listening, adapting, and seeking feedback. Use oral communication channels when tone is critical.

Speaker: 00:17:48

Implement strategies like restating and backbriefs to ensure your message is received accurately.

Speaker: 00:17:55

Cultivate a culture of open communication within your team and take feedback seriously.

Speaker: 00:18:01

And critically, align your words with your actions. Integrity in communication is key

Speaker: 00:18:08

to building credibility. The final section in the discovering

Speaker: 00:18:12

distinctiveness pillar is conflict resolution. This is the process of bringing a swift and healthy

Speaker: 00:18:19

conclusion to conflicts. Why is this crucial? To state it plainly, conflict is inevitable where

Speaker: 00:18:27

people work together. As a leader, it is essential and absolutely your place to resolve conflicts.

Speaker: 00:18:34

Ignoring potential issues is costly both in production and finances. But more importantly,

Speaker: 00:18:41

I stress that the overriding goal in conflict resolution must be preserving the relationship.

Speaker: 00:18:48

Scripture calls us as followers of Jesus to be peacemakers and pursue reconciliation,

Speaker: 00:18:54

urging us to, quote, live in harmony with one another, from Romans 12-16, and, quote,

Speaker: 00:19:00

maintain the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace, Ephesians 4-3.

Speaker: 00:19:06

Understanding our response to conflict is key. Our physiological fight-or-flight response can be

Speaker: 00:19:13

unproductive in most conflict situations. It's vital to slow down and cool down before responding.

Speaker: 00:19:20

Avoid assuming motives or intentions. Take responsibility for your communication

Speaker: 00:19:26

and don't take criticism personally. Try to focus on systemic issues rather than personal blame.

Speaker: 00:19:34

Identify assumptions and ask questions to uncover root issues. Understanding the different types

Speaker: 00:19:40

of conflict – task, relational, and process – helps tailor resolution strategies.

Speaker: 00:19:48

Task conflict is about disagreements over the work itself.

Speaker: 00:19:52

Relational conflict is about interpersonal friction and emotional tension. Process conflict

Speaker: 00:19:58

is about how work should be done. Recognizing these types enhances your ability to guide teams.

Speaker: 00:20:06

Leaders must facilitate understanding and reconciliation, creating a space where

Speaker: 00:20:12

everyone feels heard and valued. Managing your own emotions is key to responding with hope,

Speaker: 00:20:19

not fear. Actionably hear, practice active listening to ensure people feel truly

Speaker: 00:20:26

heard and to de-escalate tension. I recommend pausing, listening without interrupting,

Speaker: 00:20:34

asking clarifying questions, and reflecting on what you've heard.

Speaker: 00:20:40

Establish clear communication channels, like weekly check-ins for sharing of concerns,

Speaker: 00:20:47

preventing small issues from escalating into deep disputes. Foster a culture of empathy

Speaker: 00:20:54

and understanding within your team to make conflicts less personal and more solvable.

Speaker: 00:21:00

When conflict does arise, consciously slow down, ask questions, and make preserving the

Speaker: 00:21:07

relationship your overriding goal. Develop your skills by reflecting on past conflicts,

Speaker: 00:21:14

what worked. Crucially, remember the importance of follow-up after resolution to ensure

Speaker: 00:21:21

effectiveness and to show you value the relationship. How do these areas connect to

Speaker: 00:21:28

our walk with Christ? For us as followers of Jesus Christ, integrating deep discipleship

Speaker: 00:21:37

with impactful leadership means seeing leadership itself as a facet of discipleship.

Speaker: 00:21:44

Discovering your distinctiveness as a leader isn't just about professional development or

Speaker: 00:21:50

acquiring skills, it is deeply part of the journey of becoming more like Christ.

Speaker: 00:21:58

Think about it, the core components of leader identity like character and integrity,

Speaker: 00:22:05

the importance of mindset, especially resilience and abundance, the call for communication,

Speaker: 00:22:11

including authenticity, grace, and speaking truth and love, and the priority and conflict resolution,

Speaker: 00:22:19

emphasizing peacemaking, reconciliation, and bearing burdens. These are all deeply rooted

Speaker: 00:22:25

in biblical principles and modeled perfectly by Jesus. The imperative for us is clear.

Speaker: 00:22:32

We are called to show up in the fullness of who God has made us to be.

Speaker: 00:22:37

This involves recognizing and leveraging the unique gifts God has given us. It's not just

Speaker: 00:22:44

about acquiring leadership skills, but about reflecting God's character and identity in how

Speaker: 00:22:50

we lead. This requires ongoing effort, self-reflection, prayerful conversation with

Speaker: 00:22:58

the Holy Spirit, and consistently seeking alignment with God's definition of who you are

Speaker: 00:23:04

and what he has called you to do. It's not a quick fix, but a lifelong pursuit.

Speaker: 00:23:12

So, are you ready to put this into action? Well, here's how you can start.

Speaker: 00:23:17

What can you do to start applying these foundational concepts of discovering

Speaker: 00:23:22

distinctiveness in your leadership? Well, first, reflect on your source.

Speaker: 00:23:27

Talking about leader identity, take a moment to prayerfully consider the questions I've

Speaker: 00:23:33

asked before. Are you letting external validation or internal convictions shape your leadership

Speaker: 00:23:40

identity? Where is your faith placed as the primary source of definition? Second, choose

Speaker: 00:23:49

your mindset. Identify just one negative mindset you struggle with. Perhaps it's imposter syndrome

Speaker: 00:23:56

or the victim mindset. Then choose one positive mindset, growth, belonging, or abundance to

Speaker: 00:24:04

actively cultivate. Remember, reframing negative thoughts is a powerful starting point.

Speaker: 00:24:12

Third, practice active listening. In your next significant conversation with someone,

Speaker: 00:24:18

consciously practice active listening. Focus fully on the speaker. Ask clarifying questions,

Speaker: 00:24:26

and try restating what you heard to ensure understanding before formulating your response.

Speaker: 00:24:35

Finally, prioritize relationships in conflict. If a conflict arises, make preserving the

Speaker: 00:24:43

relationship your overriding goal. Consciously slow down, manage your emotions, and seek to

Speaker: 00:24:51

understand the other person's perspective by asking questions. These are practical steps

Speaker: 00:24:58

rooted in the principles we've discussed, so pause here. Which one resonates with you most right now?

Speaker: 00:25:06

Now, to wrap up, discovering distinctiveness is that essential first step in your leadership

Speaker: 00:25:14

development journey. It's all about understanding who you are as a leader, your identity, your

Speaker: 00:25:20

mindset, how you communicate, and how you navigate conflict, all from a foundation rooted in Christ.

Speaker: 00:25:29

Remember, this isn't a one-time event or a destination. It's a journey of ongoing

Speaker: 00:25:35

growth as you mature and become more like Christ. I truly challenge you to sit with these concepts

Speaker: 00:25:41

and the actionable steps discussed in this area. If you want to go deeper on any of these pillars,

Speaker: 00:25:49

revisit the full episodes on leader identity, mindset, communication, and conflict resolution.

Speaker: 00:25:55

More importantly, prayerfully consider the reflection questions provided across these

Speaker: 00:26:00

episodes. If you're feeling bold, step out and share your thoughts or answers to those questions

Speaker: 00:26:08

with me. You can find ways to reach me in the show notes. I'd love to hear how this is shaping

Speaker: 00:26:15

your leadership. Drop me a note and let's keep the conversation going. You are being equipped

Speaker: 00:26:21

for a purpose. Go make an impact by leading out of the unique distinctiveness God has placed within

Speaker: 00:26:29

you. Thank you for tuning into Equipped for Purpose. I hope today's episode gave you tools

Speaker: 00:26:42

and inspiration to deepen your discipleship and strengthen your leadership. Don't forget to

Speaker: 00:26:48

subscribe so you never miss an episode. If you found value in today's content, share it with

Speaker: 00:26:53

someone who could benefit. Let's connect on social media and through my website and remember,

Speaker: 00:26:58

you are being equipped for a purpose. Go make an impact.